"Will you come with us, _____?"
"What about Alfred?"
"He'll come after us, fräulein."
"What on the Earth have you three planned again?" you snorted doubtfully, to which Mathias only laughed for a reply.
"I understand that as a 'yes'!" he grinned.
"It is something like it, I guess..." you smiled more fondly. Even though they were idiots every once in a while, they were really important idiots for you. Gilbert grabbed your hand and lead you with the Dane to the beach nearby. It wasn't just an ordinary beach, it was more like a small lagoon. A little strip of land surrounded the beach, making a non-closing circle. In the lagoon swam a big pack of ducks, and Gilbert looked at them in some way hypnotizedly. Mathias pushed the German's side playfully.
"Look, Gilbird's relatives have all gathered here!"
"Pfft, my bird isn't even related to those bun ducks!" he said. There was a bench on the top of the 'circle', where Mathias and Gilbert sat. Wind messed up your hair, and only the ducks quacked with each other. You three looked at the lagoon for a while in a complete silence, until your laugh of disbelief broke it.
"Did you really bring me here only for watching ducks?"
"What's wrong with ducks?" Mathias smirked.
You sighed for disappointment.
Don't they remember what day it is? And I thought they would... I've given clues about it during the week! Hopeless cases...
Gilbert looked at the ducks, which had swum towards you, quacking with each other. He grinned in his own weird way, and whispered:
"What if those ducks aren't what they look like?"
Mathias nodded and continued: "You may be right, buddy. They seem innocent, and that's why they aren't doubted!"
Meanwhile you had taken a bread from your lunch bag and started to munch it. The boys' weird idea made you almost choke to your bread, and you coughed like mad for getting it out. "Haha, sure. I think they're only begging for food..."
You looked for a while at the ducks coming closer, and when you stopped to think about it, there has always been something scary about ducks.
"What if they're spies from the U.S.?" you said, rubbing your cheek thoughtfully.
"Maybe. Alfred and Ivan's competition about inventing more cunning ways to spy the others has once ended up to a real mess, so that wouldn't be an impossible idea..."
"QUACK!" one of the ducks yelped almost right away when Gilbert finished his sentence.
"Did you hear that? It clearly got pissed off when its great plan came to the light!" Gilbert laughed.
"Nah, I think it told it onwards to the others." Mathias chuckled.
The more you pondered it, the more random theories came into your mind.
"And somewhere close there's a man who's able to speak Duck!"
Mathias got carried away by the story and pointed at Gilbert, grinning.
"YOU! Gilbird is also some kind of a bird, so it must be you!"
"I can almost see how Gilbert bows down by the shore and says: "So, what do you guys have to tell me? ...I see, thanks guys. I'll report about that to the boss..." you laughed and imitated the German's funny English accent. Thoughtfully you rubbed your head, pondering aloud: "But who's the boss?"
"Alfred, of course!" Mathias squealed.
“QUACK!” a voice came suddenly really close by, and when you looked at the shore, half of the ducks had appeared right next to the reed, a little too close to you.
“Aaagh! They attack!” you cried out like the best drama queen. One of the ducks climbed to the soil and looked at you, tilting its head. “Oh, how cute~” you smiled to it, and you felt like it smiled you back. If water birds are able to do so… Suddenly Mathias grabbed you into his arms protectively.
“Be careful, it’s not as innocent as it seems…”
“…I would say the same about you.” Gilbert smirked sarcastically.
“Hey! That’s not fair!”
“Boys, boys… Are you really scared of a duck?”
“Me? Of course I’m not! I don't fear anyone!” Mathias snorted and puffed.
“I'll prove it to you!” Mathias got up from the chair and walked towards the duck. “Go away, you snotbeak!” he shouted to the bird, who tilted its head and started to quack.
"QUACK QUACK QUACK!"
The duck flapped its wings, clearly pissed off, and flew towards Mathias.
“UAAAAGH HELP ME, A CRAZY BIRD ATTACKS!!” Mathias shouted and tried to run away from the animal, which had some kind of an obsession to his blond, messy hair. You laughed with Gilbert so hard that you weren’t able to make even a single sound. You shook and clapped your hands together like retarded seals. Gilbert let his arm rest on your shoulder while he teased Mathias. “Kesesese… You should have spoken Duck to it!”
You wiped a tear, the result of laughing too much, from your eye. “Quack?”
“That doesn’t help me!” Mathias shouted on the background, trying to separate the bird from his hair. You two let him to solve his own problem, looking at the calm shore. The first leaves of autumn on the surface of water. Gilbert bowed closer to the water and whispered to the ducks: “That idiot isn’t worth paying attention… and the same in Duck: “Quack, quack, quack! Note the intonation~”
You laughed and suddenly grabbed the German’s sleeve, whispering: “What if there are some kind of recorders on the ducks, and always when you say a certain word, the satellites up there send information to CIA or somewhere?
“Then we must be careful about what we talk about… What if they record our conversations already now because we mentioned the U.S.?”
“OHYAAAA~” you screamed, overacting, and tried to hide, while Mathias fought against the duck. The animal had already ripped one piece of his shirt, but the man forgot it when he heard you scream, and pushed Gilbert away from you. “Are you alright? Spending too much time with Gilbert isn’t good for anyone…” he said and took the German’s place. You started to giggle hysterically and shook your head. “S-spy satellites of America will attack… Eheehehee~”
“What? Oh my, I’ve missed so much! Well, don’t worry honey, I’ll protect you~” Mathias said, hugging you.
“Hey, don’t you even try!” Suddenly Gilbert threw the Dane backwards, who flew over the bench with a somersault. You heard only a loud thump when he hit the ground.
“Why is it always me?!” Mathias yelped. “I’m never allowed to do anything funny…”
“So, where were we?” Gilbert smirked playfully, pretending that he didn't even hear his friend whine.
“The spies… What if they are able to read thoughts?” you laughed.
“Then we'd need foil hats~!”
“That’s an excellent idea, let’s make those! Then we’re safe from all things bad.”
“What about those ducks?”
“Ah, I almost forgot… YOU WON’T TELL ANYONE!” you shouted to the birds, laughing your ass off. “Oh my, I can only imagine if someone really listened your conversations in the office of the FBI or CIA and died to laughter because of our stupid topics…”
“Or then called to our big hero…” Gilbert laughed and glanced to the duck, who squawked little annoyedly. Then you remembered your American friend again.
“By the way, where’s Alfred?” you wondered aloud. You didn’t need to think about it longer when something really unbelievable happened: instead of ducks, many soldiers raised from the water, wearing diving masks and with rifles on their hands, scooting to a formation around the bench. For a little while there was a complete silence, until one of the soldiers said to his radio:
“The coast is clear, boss.”
After that above the shore flew a helicopter, from which jumped out a man with a parachute. You recognized the man by that familiar laugh of his… And by that brown pilot’s jacket. Alfred himself landed easily with the parachute, and right after he got rid of it, he ordered the soldiers in line. The men followed his orders obediently, and after his order started to sing… a birthday song to you.
Was there anything more epic than hearing a birthday song performed by soldiers?
Nothing came to your mind at the moment.
When the soldiers had finished the song, they saluted you and Alfred shouted:
"Happy birthday, honey!"
Without noticing you had almost moved to tears, and you said happily: “You… remembered it after all!”
Gilbert smiled and messed up your hair. “How could we forget? Actually, we planned this kind of a long time…”
There you realized something. “So you took me here on purpose, and the ducks…?”
“Yeah. The ducks were trained and equipped with recorders, so Alfred heard our every single word.” Mathias had gotten up from the ground and sat now… really close to you.
“I so hate you, boys. But that song was really special, I must admit…” you laughed when you realized what stupid things you had said.
“Only the best for the princess…” Mathias said and suddenly grabbed you in his lap.
“…Hey!” you managed to yelp, but soon Alfred and Gilbert joined also, Gilbert carrying your legs, Alfred your upper and Mathias your lower half towards a helicopter close by. “Boys, what are you doing?”
“We’re taking you to the party, of course!” Alfred smiled his everlasting smile. When you sat in the helicopter, still on Mathias’s lap, Gilbert continued:
“First we’re going to the private party, and after that you have the unique possibility to go to the afterparty…”
The trio looked each other significantly, only grinning to you.
Which really didn’t promise anything good for you…
“BOYS!” you shouted, like it would have taken the men off of you… Someone would have a long night ahead…
And the most memorable birthday ever.